One warehouse, two worlds

Ever read a situation completely differently than someone else in the room? You’re humming along at a certain wavelength completely oblivious to the fact that others are receiving the information on a complete different bandwidth.

The Setup
Dawn and I stopped by the flooring place to pick up the last few rolls of underlayment for our new floors. We are standing just inside the warehouse on the backside of the building. The warehouse stock person has just informed the nice young saleslady that they do not have any underlayment in stock.

The scene from my point of view:
The soft light of afternoon spills into the warehouse and dapples the floor. The air smells like honeysuckle and the chirping of playful birds fills the world with song. In the distance the soft chant of “bang bang choo-choo train eating sliced meat on the airplane” can be heard.

Saleslady: Is it possible that you acquired your full allotment of underlayment upon your first visit to secure supplies from us?

Bill: (absent mindedly polishing monocle) I do not think that is the case. On the occasion of our last visit there seemed to be a shortage of underlayment so we made arrangements to make a second visit.

Saleslady: How fortunate, we so look forward to your visits.

Bill: Indeed. As a matter of fact, I communicated with a person in your front office yesterday and they expressed their desire for us to visit today to receive more underlayment.

Saleslady: We are honored by your presence. Allow me to confer with other members of our staff.

How Dawn claims it happened:
Saleslady: Did you already pick this stuff up?

Bill: No. You ran out of stock last time we drove out here to pick up the stuff we paid for.

Saleslady: I’ll have to call and see what’s going on here.

I spin and point an accusatory finger at the lady’s face. The hard afternoon lights glints off my cufflinks and the monk buckles on my shoes looking both alien and authoritarian in the warehouse setting.

Bill: I called yesterday and YOU told me that it would be here today. YOU said I could come and pick it up.

Saleslady: (recoiling in shame and horror) Its true! I did talk to you on the phone yesterday and I lied to you. Please, spare me!

Bill: Your incompetence has been noted! Good day.

I’m sure the truth is somewhere between the two accounts. When we got back in the car Dawn said “Well, you really called her out on that.” I was like, called her out on what? “She’s the one you talked to on the phone yesterday. Did you recognize her voice or something?”

Of course I hadn’t. I was only vaguely aware that I had talked to a female person yesterday. Evidently I was using the word “you” to refer to the business but the salesperson was hearing it as a direct reference to her. I wasn’t upset or irate, but evidently I came off that way. It’s strange how two completely different conversations can be happening at the same time with the same participants about the same subject.

A touch of madness

I am fairly sure that I have stepped into some sort of surrealist movie. Lately the same series of events has been repeating itself.

I exit my house via the front door. I get the disconcerting feeling that someone is watching me. I look to the right and a three-legged German Shepherd is staring at me. The three-leggedness is obvious being one of the front legs is missing.

I stop and consider the three-legged dog and the dog pauses and considers me. I say a few kind words and the dog seems to regard me amicably.

We part ways.

I’m not exactly sure what it means but strange times are a brewing. As Hunter S Thompson would say “Buy the ticket, take the ride.”