Deck the yard... with trash

I hate inflatable holiday yard decorations. There, I said it. The fact that anyone buys them, or that they appear to be gaining popularity, gives me great pause when contemplating our country’s shared aesthetic values. I have no proof that the same people who buy these front yard abominations are also wearing Crocks….but I have my suspicions. After all, it would take someone with that dearth of personal style to look at a giant inflatable Santa, snowman, or what-have-you and gleefully imagine it disgracing their house and neighbors.

I mean it, I really dislike them (the yard ornaments not the people….well, ok, in all likelihood the people as well). At night, when the inflatable illuminated yard decoration can be said to be at their “best” it’s still not very good. I have two primary complaints about them. I’ll list them in ascending order.

Complaint one: The sameness. Every inflatable snowman decoration you buy looks exactly like every other inflatable snowman bought. There is no individuality. If two people buy the same box of Christmas lights their decorations will look different because lights are amorphous and take the shape of the individual's home (or bush or tree).

Complaint two: During the day your house looks like a landfill. This is my primary complaint with inflatable lawn decorations. In order for them to “work” you have to keep a fan blowing air into them. Most people turn that fan off during the day….meaning that the decorations deflate and then just flop around in their yard. It looks like a giant plastic bag. The very first time I saw one during the day I actually thought it was a large piece of garbage that had unfortunately blown in to the yard….after I realized that it was a large piece of garbage that the owner had purposely placed in the yard….and then staked down so it couldn’t get away - I died a little on the inside. Oh how very ghetto.

Anything this ugly has to be a fad. I suspect the people who buy these decorations will look back years from now and hang their head in shame that they participated in such a grim blight on the holidays. Or at least, they should.

[Someone in our neighborhood has decided to decorate their yard with multiple of these so-called decorations and I have to pass it everyone morning on my way to work and every evening on my way home. I find it to be unacceptable.]