A Weekend Retrospective

Things that I learned this weekend:

The difference between obscenity and profanity.

We had a discussion about the longest word or phrase that Riblet could reasonably pronounce. We decided that it was “arrow root” although Riblet would likely have trouble with the “t”. I image it would sound like “aurrooo rooo”

Watched BSG. I realized that Adama isn’t the standard bearer of reason or logic but the enabler of crazies. By selling people on dreams and blindly following the president and Starbuck’s lead…in the face of what cold hard logic would dictate… he has help lead humanity to the brink of annihilation. I now hope he dies by the crazies he so enthusiastically sowed. I doubt I’ll get my wish.

Also I keep hoping they’ll run into a whole cylon ship full of Tyclops (err maybe Tybots?). It stands to reason that if there were Tybots on Earth and back on Caprica that they have their means of transportation. I hope the humans kill Tyclops and a ship full of fractious Tybots reaps unholy vengeance on them, possibly aided by a ship of Brother Cavils. Actually, that’s how I want the show to end. Tybots and Cavils kill everyone, curtain falls.

Read an interesting argument against the probabilistic argument that there must be a God. Namely that life is so improbable that a higher intelligence must have orchestrated it. It basically hinged on the idea that following that line of logic you should always assume the lottery is rigged because the chances of a paticular person winning are so astronomical that a higher power (the lottery commission) must have orchestrated it.

We watched the “Who Killed the Electric Car” documentary. This is a pretty depressing film. Did you know in the late 90’s GM (and other major car companies) produced electric cars and leased them to people in California? People drove them around for a few years and generally like them. Many people wanted to buy the cars outright. But by 2003 the car companies had collected all the cars and crushed them. The film explores the reasons why this was done. I found it depressing because with all the talk of looking for alternative energy for transportation we’ve already successfully done it for the majority of America’s personal transportation needs. The technology exists and has been tested. The energy delivery infrastructure is in place. The film speculates that big industry is happier when alternative energy is 15-20 years away instead of in the present because that means no big changes need to happen (business as usual!!!) The future of alternative energy is perpetually 15-20 years away.

The silver lining of watching the film was learning about Stan Ovshinsky. Evidently he’s the inventor of some of my favorite things. NiMH batteries (that power cars, laptops, cameras and various gadgets), flat screen liquid crystal displays, rewritable CDs and DVDs, thin film solar panels, etc. He’s got over 400 patents, is completely self educated, and well into his 80’s and still going strong. If you see him interviewed I think you’ll find it impossible not to be caught up in his we’ll change the world and make it a better place through science and technology attitude. Check him out, he’s an amazing guy.

Humorous postscript. As GM closed their electric car lines (about the same time they introduced the Hummer) Toyota and Honda finally caught up to their technology and introduced the Hybrid Electric cars. US Car companies were there years ahead of time but decided they were a dumb business move. Ha ha. Ha ha.

Treasure for her pleasure.

On the way home last night we remembered that we were suppose to pick up new kitty litter for Riblet. I say on the way home, but truth be told we were just about all the way home and the thought of turning around and going back out into rush hour traffic was far too disgusting to contemplate. Fortunately there was a Kroger’s grocery store that we’d be passing before we made it home. We decided to stop there and see what we could find that Riblet would think is really nice. (No, I’m serious, really great… for her to…).

Unfortunately the store didn’t have Riblet’s brand so we were forced to settle with something that we were sure that she’d find to be inappropriate. Dawn wanted to get something that was as close to her normal stuff as possible and pull a fast one on the old Ribletmiester. I had other ideas…

Everyone knows Riblet is a pretty high end cat. She sleeps on cashmere, micro-suede, leather, and memory foam pretty much exclusively. She likes to retire to the library in the evenings. She manages a small coffee plantation. And she doesn’t want to be treated like no damn pauper. Obviously ordinary kitty litter is not going to cut it.

I spied some new fangled crystal kitty litter that looked like gem stones:

I knew this was the stuff. Who wouldn’t want to poop on diamonds? I was sure this would meet with Riblet’s approval and lobbied strongly for it. Dawn was skeptical and thought we should go with something a bit more plebian. We compromised and bought one of each, which works out well since Riblet has two litter boxes anyways. Except now she has one litter box and one precious gems treasure trove box.

I saw this Indexed cartoon shortly after it was posted and thought to myself - “self, that is going to generate some thought provoking comments.” I checked back later and sure enough the two sides lined up facing each other took turns calling the other side stupid. That’s the power of the internet. No matter what your point of view you can easily find someone who disagrees with you and wants you to know it.

While it would be disingenuous to say I have any er...faith… in the power of prayer, I don’t feel the need to flog those who do. Or does this post prove otherwise? Doh!

A curious thought occurred to me over lunch. I was originally going to call it a “thought experiment” but in truth it’s more of a ridiculous analogy that I’ve managed to stretch threadbare and thin.

Why not view prayer as a vice? People have lots of vices that they enjoy even if they are not productive. I like to think of prayer in terms of drinking. Will drinking solve our problems? No. But sometimes I’ll indulge in it anyway. Why be so hard on prayer for being ineffective? In fact, drinking and prayer are a lot alike.

• Presumably, people do both because it makes them feel good.
  
• If either is practiced too heavily at the expense of other things no progress will ever be made.
  
• People like to do both at meals and right before bed.
  
• People tend to get carried away if either is done in too large of groups.
  
• In times of trouble or anxiety people turn to both for solace.
  
• There is a certain kind of person who takes pride in being able to indulge in more than you.
  
• It’s easy to resort to either in lieu of making difficult decisions.
  
• Do too much of either and you’re bound to have to some strange ideas.
  
• People who “specialize” in either tend to either love everyone or decide that everyone else is wrong and become quite quarrelsome.

I think that viewing prayer like drinking would take some of the vehemence out of the anti-prayer folks. It’s a normal human impulse to do some things that aren’t logical and/or helpful. Following that impulse doesn’t necessarily make us stupid. That being said, I like to think we’re all better off when our scientist, doctors, politicians, etc don’t make decisions while being under the influence of either.

Juvenile, I know.

A frequent commuting distraction for Dawn and I is coming up with more bawdry lyrics for whatever song is on the radio. While most of our masterpieces really aren’t suitable for…well for anyone really… the song du jour is ABBA’s ‘Take a Chance on Me.’

Much to our amusement if you simply replace the refrain “Take a chance on me” with the phrase “Take the pants off me” the whole song continues to work quite nicely. Check it out:

If you change your mind, I’m the first in line
Honey I’m still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around
If you’ve got no place to go, if you’re feeling down
If you’re all alone when the pretty birds have flown
Honey Im still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best and it ain’t no lie
If you put me to the test, if you let me try

Take a chance on me
(that’s all I ask of you honey)
Take a chance on me
….

It more or less works for every verse. I challenge you not to sing this version in the car next time the song comes on. (What do you mean your listen to ABBA in the car?)

What's that smell?

Is it just me or does something smell like stinky fish in here?





I think this blog is starting to rot.

The Argonian Power Movement

Remember that election that decent citizens voted in back in November? Well the folks in Minnesota still don’t know who won their senate race. The race has gone to an automatic recount since the two main candidates (Norm Coleman and Al Franken) are less than 200 votes apart.

But who cares about those jackasses. The real story is about the exciting write-in candidates. NPR has coverage about how arduous the recount has been and how each side challenges every vote that the other gets. Anyone who remembers the Bush vs. Gore election probably has a good idea of what’s going on. Here is one of the actual ballots that are being contested!



Who knew that the lizard people had an active political party in Minnesota!? As a huge supported of lizard people, or Argonians as they are officially known, I am thrilled to see them making a power grab in the North Star State.

This ballot was initially thrown out for “over voting” since the voter filled in the circle by Franken’s name and wrote in “Lizard People.” But obviously this is just a cheap political trick to deprive the Lizard People of votes. Not for Senator, obviously, but in all the other races. While I won’t say I agree with their choice, this particular voter obviously voted for Al Franken. (Why vote for Al when you can have an Argonian!?!?) They were merely including the Lizard People in the group of people running for senate. As the rest of the ballot clearly indicates, the voter was more than capable of writing in “Lizard People” and filling in the circle when they indented to vote for Lizard People.

I suspect that the reason this vote was thrown out is the two party system feels threatened by a third scaly party of bipedal reptiles with super human strength. Well not me. I fully support all Argonians running for office. I would love to volunteer for their organizations by knocking stuff off tables, tail whipping potential votes, installing public sun rocks, or what have you.

My eye are open now people. It’s time we greet our salmonella bearing politicians with open arms and our full electoral support.

Dismissible Curmudgeon Rant

I just opened the latest version of Bon Appetite and spent the next few minutes swearing and throwing away little cardstock mailers that fall out of magazines like dandruff. I hate them. And I hate the magazine for including them. I would gladly pay an extra fee for each magazine if I didn’t have to deal with all the crap that falls out of it. Even magazines like Cuisine at Home and Cook’s Illustrated which claim to be ad-free are infested with the damnable cardstock hell spawn. Has anyone actually saved one of those and sent them in? (If so, you’re part of the problem. Hang your head in shame).

Dawn says she would gladly pay an extra fee to receive fashion magazines without fragrance samples. No wonder either… each one of those magazines reeks to high heaven.

I was tempted to make the claim that I get upset when the advertising in my media distracts from the content. But I don’t think that’s the case, or rather, that is just more of a symptom. I think as I get older I become ever less tolerant of whatever crazy thing I decide is irritating me and think I should be able to buy my way out of it. I suppose that I am the ultimate product of a consumer based economy.

Thinking back I seem to remember going on a rant after the last time Dawn and I bought airline tickets. We were picking out the seats and I was distressed that the back corner of the plane was already taken. While I often complain about sitting in the back of the plane because of the noise, and having to stare at the crotches of people waiting to use the lavatory, and the fact that you are literally the last person off the plane when trying to make a connection, I kind of like that you limit the number of people that can sit around you. In the middle of the plane you are exposed on all sides. In the back of the plane, in a two person row, there are only two people sitting in front of you and one person next two you across the aisle. That guarantees that a small kid will not be kicking my seat the entire trip….plus the odds of having to sit next to a baby are drastically reduced.

I believe I was telling Dawn that I thought that airlines ought to offer to charge a fee to guarantee you will not sit next to a minor. When people buy tickets they have to reveal whether or not they are traveling with a minor. I haven’t looked up the statistics, but I think that most passengers aren’t minors, so the odds are pretty good that I won’t have to sit next to a minor….but I’m willing to pay an extra $5 to take the odds from pretty good to really good. I thought it seemed like a good deal for the airline companies. In most cases they won’t have to do anything to collect and extra $5 fee. And they like fees. All they really have to do is invent a new color of seat to show that some seat options are restricted to people not traveling with minors…which is the majority of travelers (I suspect).

Dawn pointed out that it would cause logistical issues when the plane started to get full and the airline wouldn’t want the bad press of kicking little kids of off planes. I’m a reasonable (if not intolerant) guy. I acknowledge the fact that they need to serve people with kids too. My solution was that if I paid $5 to not sit next to a kid (and I’m talking left, right, front and back seats) and they place a kid there then the airline company refund me $20. I think it’s a good solution. It doesn’t tie the hands of the airline company in the situation of a full plane, and at the same time acknowledges that seating a kid next to me is suboptimal and gives me a $15 “we’re sorry” when it invariable happens.

Whoa, where did that come from? I guess I’ve been storing up my curmudgeon delusional ranting.