Scourge of the Neighborhood

I hate kids and I hate dogs. It’s that simple. Occasionally I slip off into a fantasy where neither exists. If pressed I’m sure you could get me to admit that I like a certain kid or a certain dog….but in the general abstract sense, I disapprove of both. Wishing kids didn’t exist at the very least is probably just wrongheaded and foolish, but in the long view of things is just asking for lack of retail service later in life. Wishing dogs didn’t exist….well I’m not exactly sure what dogs are good for…but maybe someone somewhere has a medical condition where they need constant responsibility and annoyance for medicinal reasons. It could happen.

Oh, way do I feel the need to write a needlessly inflammatory tirade against dogs and kids? It might be because I just came home and found my mailbox full of dog crap.

I suppose you could credit the little buggers as being resourceful, they didn’t have to bring the dog crap. That was supplied by some frac-off of a neighborhood dog-owner who thought letting their dog defecate all over my front yard was a privilege of owning large vermin (judging from volume it came from a large dog or small horse). I noticed the dog crap a day or so ago.

As for the kids? I wonder if this could have anything to do with asking a few of the little delinquents to not shoot up my house in their BB gun war games on Tuesday. Frankly I’m surprised I don’t have to replace a window BECAUSE THEY WERE SHOOTING THE GLASS. The woods behind our house are a constant BB gun theater of war. Why can’t they shoot out each other’s eyes and just go home? I blame the parents for forcing them to wear goggles….that’s just prolonging the affair.

Oh and another thing. There was no mail intermingled with the crap….it’s pretty unusual that a day goes by without receiving mail.

Dog crap. Mailbox. Not happy.