Probing the Depths of Terror

Oh gentle reader, I have such a harrowing tale to tell. They say the man with two watches never knows what time it is. Let me tell you about the man with four probe thermometer probes, two probe thermometer base stations, an Evil Egg grill dome thermometer, and two Stoker Temperature Controller probes. (By the way, I say the man with two or more watch should be commended on his stylish accessories…)

I read somewhere about analog probe thermometers, like the one that monitors the Black Evil Egg’s dome temperature, getting a bit out of whack. I thought about that thermometer, out there, exposed to the elements, and furrowed my brow. Then I read that fortunately they are easy to calibrate.

So I decide to check and see if my egg thermometer is legit, this seems like a fruitful endeavor because I can also check the probes that come with the Stoker Temperature Controller that I got for my birthday. After all what’s the point of it constantly monitoring my grill if it isn’t polling the correct temperatures? While I’m at it I might as well check all the probe thermometers in the kitchen; the more the merrier, right?

So I need something to calibrate against, a pot of boiling water seems to be a popular choice. Ought to be 212°, right? Well, barometric pressure will throw that off a bit. Usually barometric pressure changes with elevation so water will boil at a bit lower temperature at higher elevations. I don’t expect Huntsville’s elevation to a big factor….but I go ahead and check it out.

I find out that weather will also play with the barometric pressure, meaning that water will boil at slightly different temperatures on different days. That’s kind of neat. I probably haven’t thought about since science class in elementary school. I also find a couple of javascript applications that will calculate the temperature that water will boil at written for nerds like me. A quick trip to weather.com to find the current barometric pressure for Huntsville and I’m in business. Based on my pressure and elevation water ought to boil at 210.2° Good deal.

I start a pot of water boiling. I decide to do my kitchen probe thermometers first. I notice that I have four of them in the drawer and two base stations. I plug the first one in and plunge it in the water (without touching the sides or bottom). 179°, that’s not right. I plug the second one in, 208°, ah that’s more like it. The third and forth measure at 176° and 177° respectively. I’m starting to panic, I place the Evil Egg dome thermometer in….150°. This is a disaster.

I try my other base station. The temperatures are 210°, 250°, 209°, and 210.° Ah, I think I see what’s going on here. I the connectors on top of the probes are different colors, I bet three of them belong to one base state and one belongs to the other one. That would make since. I’ve never been real careful about matching them up, but with this evidence in hand it seems pretty obvious that a thermocouple is not simply a thermocouple. I bet Dawn could have told me that. Lesson learned; probes may not be swappable.

Now that the kitchen probes are sorted out I find a wrench and calibrate the Evil Egg thermometer. It turns out that calibrating the analog thermometer is a simple adjustment. Phew.

Lastly, I place the Stoker’s probes in the water….206.4° and 209.1°. The fact that it reports tenths of a degree is kind of cool….but I would have hoped for it to be more accurate. A quick trip to the manual that comes with it reveals that the Stoke is smart. Very smart. There is a way to digitally calibrate it! A little bit a fiddling and the new readings are 210.2° and 210.6° Much better.
They say that ignorance is bliss. All I know for sure is multiple thermometers lying to me is torment. I’m glad I was able to help them get their stories straight. I’ve also gained a new found skepticism for their information. A skepticism which I am sure is healthy. Here that thermometers of the world…I got my eye on you.