A Morning with Riblet

Getting ready for work in the morning is a pretty active time in our house. Dawn and I are zipping back and forth, and in the middle of it all is Riblet. Usually Riblet moves from person to person uttering vague and sometime very specific threats. She was especially on form this morning so I thought I’d give everyone a taste of classic Riblet banter.

As soon as someone gets out of the shower Riblet comes along to inspect the water. This is sometimes accompanied with a song that is vaguely set to “I’m a little teapot.” The lyrics change up depending on Riblet’s mood but they always start with “I’m a little Riblet, short and stout.” The shower water Riblet “inspects” is strictly referred to as soup, I assume that’s because we’ve been “simmering” in the hot water. She will normally make some comment about the soup and how she will be accustomed to the flavor when it comes time comes to eat us.

I’ll warn you, the following is nightmare fuel. I know I might not sleep as soundly tonight. This morning Riblet allowed Dawn to roll her over and pet her tummy. Of course there had to be something in it for Riblet. She’s been asking Dawn for a set of thumbs for ages now. Riblet often asks Dawn for thumbs, matches, or money. This morning she asked if the thumbs could be grafted to her tummy. Tummy thumbs. Riblet then explained that with tummy thumbs she could hold a knife or gun against her tummy. When she was in a fight and gave her opponent a big Riblet hug (which is her standard move) she could hold them close and use her tummy thumbs to shiv them.

Of course Dawn and I didn’t take her too seriously; we just made jokes about gangster Riblet and her tummy gun. Still I can’t quite shake the mental image of Riblet with a set of thumbs grafted to her tummy.

Riblet swore at us for our impertinence. She promised Dawn would be the first to taste the cold hard bite of her tummy knife. The morning more or less ended as we were about to leave and Riblet full out attacked Dawn’s arm. Fortunately there was no tummy knife involved.

She sure is a strange and deranged cat. To illustrate her commitment to nefarious and malicious deeds I’ve attached a photo of a slightly younger Riblet on her “Throne of Bone.”