Why Do I Watch Crap?

God help us, Dawn and I have started watching two new reality shows. We didn’t used to be these people; we used to sneer at the idiots who patronized reality TV. Oh how far we have fallen.

We’ve been watching Tim Gunn’s guide to style, and as of last night, America’s Next Top Model.

I’ll start with Tim Gunn’s show. I’ll be honest, it’s a disappointment. I had such high hopes. What I wanted out of Tim Gunn’s show was Tim showing up and walking through someone’s wardrobe and explaining what did and did not work and why. I wanted an analytical show. Oh sure, along the way I wanted Tim to use big words and occasionally shriek, but mostly I wanted a cerebral guide to style. But that’s not really what we get.

The show’s producers decided what we really needed is yet another show that forces someone to go through an internal and external transformation in under a week. The internal emotional transformation is key to them….and I couldn’t care less. What, do they think a bunch of women watch this show? Personally, I doubt someone can really undergo a complete internal transformation in a week. Secondly, the show also uses such lame ploys at emotional manipulation that I feel embarrassed for Tim for being associated with it. “We told you your mother couldn’t be here…..but she is” and my personal favorite. “Here, give her this wedding ring that has no significance to either of you…but it’s expensive. She’s a whore and she needs to know her price.” Bleh.

America’s Next Top Model is no better, but I feel less disappointed by that show. I expect crap from ANTM, the show has been on the slide for awhile. It is by far my most guilty of television pleasures. At one time I might have expected to glean some sort of photography tip from the show…but those illusions are long gone. I expect to learn nothing from the show and feel dirty for wasting an hour of my life afterwards.

I found the new season to be unabashedly bad. Especially the panel interviews, “it says here on this paper in front of me, that everyone on the panel is familiar with, that something tragic and horrible happened to you….cry for us.” No amount of euphemisms would satisfy the panel, they craved the salty tears of young, dumb, models.

I couldn’t tell if they cut the girl who was from Yale out or not. I kind of wanted her to stay in, although I know she will be a sacrificial lamb on the show. Her role will be to show that being smart has nothing to do with being a good model…..and she will be criticized for thinking she’s smarter than everyone else and not having the drive to be a model. Her narrative was written before she step foot on set.

I think Dawn has picked her ponies already. I guess I need to go to the website and see which train wreck I want to bet on.